Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i now understand why vodka
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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