He asked to "fluff my boner.."
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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