So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
