Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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