That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
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I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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