OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
