My pussy is not your playground.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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