and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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