you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
