he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
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Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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