My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
