seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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