The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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