I'm so fucking centered right now
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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