it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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