Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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