I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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