it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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