mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
