Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
