im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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