Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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