did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
