Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
