Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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