What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
