wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
