It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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