so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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