We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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