doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
