Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
