There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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