You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
