The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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