so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
