Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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