just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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