That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
