Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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