oh god the rape fog is back!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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