8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
