ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
