i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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