Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
