just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
