wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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