Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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