My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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