Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize