Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
