I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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