Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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