my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
