Did you just see the Batmobile???
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
