wat bout pragnant strippers??
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
