I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
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If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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