My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize