I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
